Monday Night Money

Check-In: $744.78

That's okay... enough to pay the bills coming due this week. That's about all I'm up to writing right now. We just got my DH home from the hospital tonight (he's been there since Saturday morning). This coming on the heels of my sick 3-year-old son, coming on the heels of my sick 6-year-old daughter, coming on the heels of looking at an ADD diagnosis (possibly) for the 6-year-old daugher, coming on the heels of my sick then 4, now 5-year-old daughter has just completely destroyed the past month and I am just drained- physically, emotionally, and intellectually. The only bright spot in this month was the birthday of my middle child (and boy, is she ever a "middle child"!). So, although it doesn't have much to do with Monday Night Money, I'm going to close with the one thing that made me happy this month: Princess Tippytoes "Fairy Princess" birthday!

Monday Night Money

Check-In: $1217.56
May I say, Wow!
When I checked my bank account, I had to delve deeper, thinking that maybe they hadn't taken out any of the money that I spent this weekend. But they had! That includes taking out cash for this coming week! I have to admit, we haven't been as frugal as we were a month ago. A month ago, it was out of necessity. Now, it's by choice, but by making that choice, I don't have to feel guilty about taking the family out to eat, renting a few DVD's, or spending a little more on Princess Tippytoes birthday party (like buying pre-cooked chicken to use in a recipe instead of cooking and dicing it myself because time was of the essence). Actually, I think I was about on target, budget-wise, for the party if I take into account that I bought some regular groceries for this week while I bought the food for the party. Anyway, looking closer at my account, there's a $130 check out there that has not cleared. The car payment is due, I owe my mom for daycare, and I need to pay my dad the rent sometime soon. So, it's not like all of that money doesn't have someplace to go, but at least it's there for the going!

Weekend Weigh-In: 02/16/08

Weigh-In: 289.7

Yup! That's it! Up only .3 lbs! Why am I excited? A little background...
This has been a week from you-know-where...
It began with me not feeling great last weekend- just some sinus stuff that, while not making me super-sick, made me really tired and made me lose my voice. I had to go to work on Monday with no voice because we had a meeting set up with a parent from you-know-where... a meeting that was ever-so-fun because I had no voice to speak up for our classroom or to even voice my opinion.
On the heels of this this meeting, I flipped roles from teacher to parent and went to Miss B's parent-teacher conference... a conference that was attended by myself, her teacher and, the principal (you know it's not going to be good when the principal makes a special point to attend your child's conference). Actually, the conference was pretty much what I expected- we're all concerned about her difficulty attending and the effect on her school work. She's getting straight C's, but she's at an accelerated magnet school for kids at or above grade-level, so that's not so bad, but it could be better if she were able to focus on her work and complete it in a timely fashion. As I said, I was kind of expecting this. There's a family history and we've seen these things when we're working with her at home, but it doesn't make it any more fun to go through or deal with.
On Sunday night, Miss B had begun to complain of a sore throat. Since my DH was staying home with the other two kids on Monday anyway, I kept her home from school, figuring she was getting the same thing I had. Then came Tuesday night- when Miss B's inhaler was doing her no good and we had to make a trip to the ER. Two nebulizer treatments and a dose of steroids later (about 5-6 hours), she was doing better, but still wheezing some. We got home about 2 am. Wednesday morning, after another dose of steroids, antibiotic, and nebulizer treatment, she was still coughing and wheezing, which led us to the doctors office. Well, she must have been doing pretty badly because the doctor gave her another neb treatment there (with 2 meds now, instead of 1) and another dose of steroids! She increased all of her meds and instructed us to give her neb treatments every hour for the next 3 hours, every 2 hours for the next 6 hours and then every 3 hours until we saw Miss B's regular pediatrician for a follow-up on Friday. And there went the rest of our week!
So, to get back to the original topic: why am I so glad that I only gained .3 lbs?
1. It was a stressful week and stress tends to be a trigger for my eating when I don't really need to be eating.
2. Miss B was out of school for the week, I didn't take her to the bus, so I didn't get my usual walks in. So, I didn't get much exercise in this week either.
3. It was Valentine's Day. Although I didn't get any chocolate hearts full of candy, there were LOTS of goodies around. Since I didn't know how many (if any) students were bringing treats (since I wasn't there to send a note home reminding parents to send treats), I picked up a box of donut holes for the students and a dozen donuts for the staff in our classroom. And wouldn't you know it that this is the first year that every single student brought something! There were cakes and candies and juices and cookies and donuts! It was a sugar-filled mine field!
4. On Tuesday morning, I ate breakfast at Burger King with 2 of the kiddos while running errands. On Wednesday night, I ate dinner at Burger King (chosen by Miss B, her consolation prize for missing Valentine's night at LOGOS when her brother and sister got to go). On Friday night, we ate at Golden Corral (a buffet). Since I figured this week's weigh-in was already shot, I might as well go all the way. DH and the kids have been asking to go here for a while, so I figured that it was a good time to go. Now, what I ate there wasn't horrible, but I'm sure it was far from healthy and, like many people, I tend to eat too much when I'm at a buffet.
So, after all of that, I told myself that, no matter what, I would step on the scale this morning. I could have sloughed off a little longer... after not writing for a week, what's a few more days? I probably would have done that in the past, but I'm on a quest for truth and accountability now! So, although I fully expected to see a few-pound gain, I stepped on the scale this morning. I had already told myself that it was okay... that there were times in life when it was okay to fall off the wagon and that this week was certainly one of them. And, I told myself that there's nothing wrong with chasing down the wagon and hopping back on, just like nothing had happened. And, I'll be darned if all of that talking to myself was for nothing! Now, it just irritates me a bit because, just think... If I hadn't written this week off and said, "Oh well, it's already a lost cause," I wouldn't have made some of the choices that I did and I would have actually had a loss! Well, forewarned is forearmed, they say, so next time I'll know. When a crappy week head's my way, I'll know to perhaps count a day as a loss, but not the whole week. Next time, there will be no excuses!

life on hold,

blog on hold due to major sickness.

Asthma + Bronchitis= NOT A GOOD THING!!!!

Hopefully we'll be back next week, better 'n ever!
In the meantime, head over to Oprah's site (gosh, never thought I'd be offering that advice!) and download- totally FREE- Suze Orman's book... something about women and money. I've never read any of her stuff, but I've heard from/ read from plenty of people who swear by her stuff. And it's FREE, so what can it hurt? It was Oprah's giveaway today. She wanted to do a giveaway for all the viewers at home, so this is it. From my understanding, you can download the entire book from her site. I'm heading over there to do it right now.
PS- I think you have until 5 pm on Thursday, February 14 to do this.

Weekend Weigh-In: 02/09/2008

Weigh-In: 289.4
Down 2.7 lbs! :)
Woo Hoo! What else can I say? I'm excited and encouraged! Things are moving in the right direction again. Not having those donuts yesterday was so worth it! The feeling of looking down at the scale and seeing an almost 3 lb. loss is much better than the feeling you get from eating a Homecut Donut- and anyone who's had Homecut Donuts knows that's saying a lot (still-warm coffee rolls might come close)! I must admit, I was a bit leary of stepping on the scale- feeling bad because this has been very busy week, neccesitating a few trips to a drive-thru or the food court at the mall. It has also been a very snowy week, with more snow coming almost daily (but not enough for a snow day). The daily delivery of snow and ice has wreaked havoc on my daily walk after the bus stop plan. I have no doubts that I will pick up that plan once the weather reaches an even keel again, but I missed doing it this week. I only got to walk once or twice in the morning this past week. I have also not gotten the exercise bike back into the house yet and now that plan is on hold until after Princess Tippytoes' birthday party next weekend (which is, ironically, the reason the bike got taken out of the house a few years ago). So, over-all, I'm feeling optimistic and happy. My goal for this week is to plan my meals. My sister has been doing this and blogging about it here. Seeing what she spent on groceries last week has inspired me to get my butt in gear and plan my meals! Her grocery bill for herself, DH, and a teenage son was $20! Granted, she has some stuff stock-piled and one of the perks of her job is getting food that the store can no-longer sell, but an average grocery bill of $20 would be a great boon to our budget! I have no illusions of getting my grocery bill down to $20, but I do believe that we could lower it by planning meals based on what we already have at home and then supplementing with our trips to the grocery store. This past week, I spent about $50 on groceries. I didn't feel that was too bad for a family of 5, but when you add in a trip to the food court one night and a trip for 2 through the drive-thru another night, it doesn't look quite as good (about $30 for the food court, but only about $6-$7 for the drive thru trip for DH and I). Just because we actually have money in our bank account again doesn't mean that we should spend it. That's a trap that's waaay too easy to fall into! Okay, I'm off to meal plan. If I get the chance, I'll pop back on to share with you.

Well, after visiting and messing around with Tickerfactory for an insane amount of time, I could not find anything that adequately conveyed the "Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your Emergency Fund grow?" theme. So, I abandoned it in favor of the "Godzilla-scale Piggy Bank, stomping the evil Debt City" theme. Okay, so the city doesn't really look that evil, but that's just what they want you to think. Debt doesn't look evil either. In fact, all the commercials make it look nice... Hey! Buy stuff! Then you can be just like everyone else, while still remaining uniquely you, and you will be happy! (Those "priceless" commercials of a certain credit company have got to be the worst of these money-can-buy-happiness messages!)

THEY ARE WRONG!

Does having more month left at the end of your money make you happy?

Does wondering how you will buy diapers or formula for your babies or how you will put gas in your car because the bank balance is super-negative make you happy?

Does waking up exhausted in the morning because you were tossing and turning half-the-night with dreams full of financial anxiety make you happy?

Does realizing you could have paid off several of your bills with what you ended up having to pay in overdraft charges this month make you happy?

Does not being able to provide the "extra" things for your children make you happy?

Does being stuck renting houses, renting furniture, or paying exhorbitant interest rates because your credit is so bad make you happy?

Does having a nervous, anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach everytime you check your bank balance make you happy?

Dave says...

So, I've been talking about this Dave Ramsey guy a bit. I bought his book, Total Money Makeover, and I've been working my way through it. Actually, I began working my way through it, got tired of reading about him busting a lot of financial myths that I never believed in anyway, and skimmed my way to the actual "Babysteps", as he calls them. In the Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey has 7 Babysteps to begin your journey to Financial Peace. I'll go through these steps on here as I get to them, but if you're the kind of person that likes to skip to the end of the book, click here.
The first Babystep is to save $1000 to start an Emergency Fund. Save $1000. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200- unless you're going to put it in this Emergency Fund! Save up $1000 dollars as quickly as possible and keep it liquid. Do not make it too easy to access (IE- do not link it to your checking account so it can get eaten up by your overdrafts) and do not tie it up in something that will make you reluctant to use the money when you need it (IE- a CD or similar fund that has penalties for early withdrawal). The goal of this emergency fund is not to sit there and make you money. The goal is for it to be there when you need it for a true emergency. He even goes so far as to share what one woman did. Once this woman had her emergency fund, she got ten $100 bills, framed them, and wrote "In case of emergency, break glass." and hung it in a difficult to access, inconspicuous place in her house (the back of an over-stuffed coat closet or something like that). I thought that was amusing. The point is, it's there when you need it. It's your security blanket- your beginning of peace- to know that you have something there to smooth the unexpected bumps in the road. So, if you scroll down, you'll see a new ticker- my "Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your Emergency Fund grow?" ticker. Have a gander...

Monday Night Money

Check-In: $1081.46
That's the good news. I have my cash that I need for the week but, I also have 2 checks out there- one for $860 and one for $300- that have not been cashed yet. They are both to my parents, but there's a slight chance for screw up (IE- overdraft fees) if they have deposited them. That's what I hate about checks! On the positive side, I still have a couple of checks to put in the bank from selling Girl Scout cookies. Still, I doubt they'll cover the difference.
The good news for this month is that, as of right now, our expected income appears to exceed our budget by about $1000 (before buying gas and groceries/ household goods). Since I'm actually paying attention to our money for a change, it's my hope that I will actually be able to account for and hang onto some of this extra $1000 to accomplish some of our goals. What are my plans/ goals for this money? Budget $300 for groceries and household, $200 for gas, $50 for a birthday movie and meal for Princess Tippytoes, $150 for a family birthday party for Princess Tippytoes (food and decorations). If my math is correct, that leaves about $300 (at least) to put towards our Emergency Fund (more to come on that later).
So, is this realistic? I accounted for all of our regular bills before I got down to the $1000 leftover. I just did a pretty big shopping trip a few weeks ago, so we are pretty well stocked up all of the little things that tend to get used up when we live off of what we have on hand for 3 weeks. Therefore, groceries/ household goods (I can't separate the two- I've tried before and it's a P.I.T.A.) should not be too expensive. Our gas is fairly predictable- about $50 per week unless we take a trip to visit our friends near the Indiana border or my sister in Indiana. Since both our friends and my sister will be visiting to celebrate Princess Tippytoes birthday, I don't think we'll be planning any trips that direction for this month. But just in case, I'm going to give myself an extra $50 for gas for the rest of the month (you never know with the way gas prices have been). This will also give us a little "wiggle room" in the budget. I'm going to try to stick to our not-eating-out thing- especially after the lack of enthusiasm on the part of the kids for our last eating out experience. As I said, we might go out to eat on Princess Tippytoes' birthday (this coming Friday) or on Saturday, we might go with some friends to see the Veggie Tales: Pirates Who Don't do Anything movie at the $2 theatre and head to the food court afterwards. Since we usually let the kids choose a restaurant on their birthday if it falls during the week, this is not too far of a budgetary stretch: $10 for 5 movie tickets, another $5-$10 for our popcorn and a drink (because what's a movie in a theatre without popcorn!), and another $20-$25 for dinner. That's a grand total of $35-$45, no more than we would pay for dinner going to a restaurant. And we will need to spend a little money on a family birthday get-together, but I think I will just have it at our house this year. It's something that I enjoy doing, so if we can get the house together in time, I'd really like to (we have been suffering from C.H.A.O.S.- Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome and birthday celebrations have been held at local restaurants for the past few years). So, overall, I am feeling optimistic about our February budget. Another boon the positive vibes is the knowledge that I can do our taxes on February 12th (we finally have all of our W-2's, but we have to wait until Feb. 11th for the "Child and Dependent Care Expenses Form". I know that I will be off on February 12th, thanks to our 16th president, so that's my official Do-my-taxes-day. I can hardly wait! (note: that's said enthusiastically, not sarcastically... I'm weird, I know!)

return of why i'm doing this

This is a continuation of a discussion/blog that I wrote on Friday. I also posted this on a great weight loss support site that I'm part of. After reading some of the replies and conversations started by my original post, here's what I said:



I really worry about the messages I'm sending to my kids- especially knowing that one of the girls that was in my youth group has struggled with anorexia since at least 3rd or 4th grade. Yes! 3rd or 4th grade! So, I'm constantly wondering about the messages that my kids are getting- are they the right ones? Will talking about this stuff make it better or worse for them? Will it lead them to make the right choices or just worry them about making the wrong ones? Will it lead them down the path of pain that I went through- being overweight (or at least thinking I was until it became a reality)? Let the mommy-neurosis begin!

I definitely agree with not using food as a reward or a bribe. Food should be what it is- something to fuel your body- to give you the energy that you need to do what you need to do. Sure, sometimes that food can be enjoyable (and sometimes, downright heavenly), but in the end, it's just food. Whenever Miss B asks me about whether or not something is healthy (she's the main one that's concerned about it at this point), I'll usually either tell her yes (if it is) or if it's something that's really not, I tell her it's a "sometimes" food- something that I picked up at a health presentation they had for the students at our school. I think that's a good way to look at it; something that's okay to have sometimes, but not all of the time. Overall, my kids do pretty well making healthy choices. They love fruit and some veggies (which I don't cook for them enough). I try to limit their candy, because to my mind, it's pretty much just toxic junk to their bodies and behavior. Princess Tippytoes (my 4-year-old) is just getting through a big phase of expecting desert after every meal. I think we're finally getting past that. Usually, at meals, I put a bit of everything on their plate- the minimum that I expect them to eat. Once they've finished that, they can ask for seconds of anything they want. If they do not finish what's on their plate, they don't get desert or anything else to eat, but I don't force them to be a "Clean Plate Club Member". I remember those hellish days as a child- spent stockpiling chewed roast beef in my cheeks like a chipmunk until I could escape and spit it out or throwing my green beans up at the window underneath the valance when my parents weren't looking. Just in case you're wondering, yes, they stick to the window . So, by now, this is really long and I don't know exactly where it's going. All I know is that our saga continues. Tonight, Miss B asked me if she's going to be fat when she grows up because she doesn't exercise. I pointed out that she exercises in gym class and by playing outside or at the park when it's nice out. I also reminded her that next month she and her brother and sister will be starting martial arts and that is exercise too. So, then she begged me to sign up for martial arts with them. I told her that I didn't think I'd fit in well in the Li'l Dragons class and reminded her of what I am doing to exercise- walking- and what I'm going to do- bring in the exercise bike so I can use that too. These answers seemed to satisfy her for now, but I'm sure her brain is still buzzing... it always is.

there's no place like ______

Here's something that actually relates to both of my focus areas: money and health. Eating Out! It's a common pitfall for both the budget and the diet. Definitely one of my more self-destructive behaviors. To come clean, in the past year, there were big, long, huge phases spent eating out every night! Yes! Every single night of the week, we would eat out somewhere. I would pick the kids up from my parents and the question as we got into the car would be, not "what's for dinner", but, "where are we going to have dinner?". For this, I feel lots of mommy-guilt for so many different reasons. It's not the way things should be. And anytime money got tight and I would answer their question by telling the kids that we were eating at home, there would be protests and mutiny galore. Again, not how things should be. So, I was really surprised when I thought about it last week and realized that we have not eaten out, as a family, at a regular restaurant (defined by the presence of servers and lack of a drive-thru window) since New Year's Eve! Wow! That's a whole month of not (really) eating out! There was one meal at the mall food court, a couple of trips through drive-thrus (literally, only a couple) and they didn't usually involve the whole family- just the person who was running short on time. For our family, this is a huge reformation. And, what I found even more surprising than the fact that we hadn't really eaten out in a month was the fact that the kids did not protest or rebel against this as they had in the past. God must be on my side, because I can not remember a single time that the kids complained about eating at home or really asked to go out for supper this month (other than the occassional request for McDonald's- those will never go away- the clown has a firm grip on my kids). So, as a reward for our good behavior and hard work in regards to our money this month, we decided to treat the family to dinner at Baker's Square on Saturday night. This is usually one of the kids' favorite restaurants because they can have pancakes or dino-tots and pie (and I don't mind the pie, either). Plus, there is a great server there and he is awesome with the kids. We always ask to sit in his section and it makes having dinner more than just eating. When JT's our server, it's also an evening of entertainment- filled with magic tricks and songs and smiles. Sadly, JT was not working Saturday night :( but there were still pancakes, dino-tots and pie. But, I was shocked when the tables were turned from what I was used to. The kids were actually sitting there at the restaurant asking when we could go home. Yes- the exact same kids that used to wail and moan when I told them that we were eating at home just a few short months ago! The kids had done a total 180! I have no explanation for this, but I found this too odd not to share. It certainly makes it easier to stick with our budget plan when the kids cooperate!

Sorry this hasn't been my most stellar week in blogging. I think we are all realtively healthy now and work schedules and the weather should be getting back to normal (no more snow days), so hopefully this week I'll be doing better. On the plus side, I have gotten most of the way through Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover- into the actual Steps he recommends taking to gain financial freedom. I have also been doing lots of other reading (using the web on my phone, which I can not blog from... thumb-typing is just not conducive to the creative flow and actually having to look at the keyboard interrupts the train of thought). I have been focused mostly on Dave Ramsey and thesimpledollar.com- both of which I recommend again. So, that's about where we are right now. I'll try to do some more regular blogging in the next week.

Weekend Weigh-In: 02/02/08

Weigh-In: 292.1

Deja Vu!

What can I say? I'm a bit disappointed that I'm where I was two weeks ago. Especially since I have done some good things this week. I have been drinking my water, making myself eat my FF yogurt first in my lunches (so I fill up on something that's good for me) even when I don't want to, and I have started walking in the mornings after Miss B gets on the bus. Her bus has been coming earlier since Christmas break and I'm already out in the cold, so, hey! Why not? Even yesterday, when we had 8-10 inches of snow dumped on us overnight, I made myself get out and shovel snow- even in places that I normally wouldn't shovel- just to get some exercise in. So, while I'm disappointed that I'm not further ahead, I can be happy that I lost some of the weight- I'm down from last weekend. I can also be happy with the fact that I have felt better this week. I've had a good energy level all week. Drinking my water, taking my multi-vitamin, exercising a bit, getting plenty of sleep... I don't know what the cause of it is, but I have felt better this past week. And, I'm trying to stay positive about this whole thing, so I'll look at the good. No more beating myself up for not doing better. To quote my old mantra: Improvement is improvement. Not all improvements will show up on the scale. So, my scale victories may be stagnant, but my non-scale victories are flourishing!

why I'm doing this...

Well, part of why. Here's a conversation that I had with my 6-year-old today:

Miss B: How come you're not skinny like a kid anymore?
Me: Because I'm not a kid anymore.
Miss B: So when you grow up... you're not skinny anymore?
Me: (no easy answers and dropping it here) No, growing up doesn't mean you're not skinny anymore. It just depends on whether or not you eat healthy things and how much you eat when you're growing up.
Miss B: Well, you should call Jenny Craig.
Me:
Miss B: I'm not lying, mom. They have special foods that make you skinny again. You should totally try it.
Me: Well, B, do you know what that's called? It's called a commericial. They're trying to sell you something that you can do on your own for a lot less money.
Miss B: I know, Mom! You should go on a diet!
Me: That's what I am doing, B. I'm trying to make healthier choices about what I eat and I'm exercising. And I'm losing weight. It just takes a long time.

That's not totally verbatim, but pretty much what I can remember from about 10 minutes ago. At some point, Miss B also asked if they (she and her siblings) could be "infected by" my "unhealthy choices". At the surface, I gave her the answer of no. I didn't want her to think that she could "catch" obesity or that she was destined to be fat. But upon closer examination, the answer is definitely yes. We "infect" our children with our attitudes towards and choices about food and exercise- whether we intend to or not. We can use our powers for good or evil, but there's no doubt that our children will be infected.

new link...

I found this awesome website, blog, whatever. It's awesome! Perhaps "awesome" isn't the best word, but this site/blog is really good. A normal Joe- drowning in debt- tells all from the beginning... how he reached his "Financial Armageddon" (click on "my story" at the top to read), how he climbed out of that pit and became financially savvy, and now he shares the acquired "savvy" with the rest of us. It's called "the simple dollar- financial talk for the rest of us". And that's just what it is. Financial stuff that's written in English- normal everyday English, not high-falutin' English- that is practical and easy to understand. Plus, he's been where we are- in debt- and he's made it out. He "gets it" and keeps it real. Check it out!

still here...

but haven't had much time for writing this week. My 4-year-old daughter has had a fever (ranging between 99 and 105 degrees) since Monday. "A virus" according to the doctors... nothing we can do about it, but time and worry consuming, nonetheless. Add to that several meetings and parent-teacher conferences to attend and prepare for, and there just haven't been many opportunities for blogging this week. But, now we have a snow day- glorious snow day! The joy only diminished slightly by the fact that I have to take my husband to work by 9:00 (which means digging us out and getting the kids ready way before that) and the fact that the kids were already off for the day anyway due to conferences (or consonants, and my 4-year-old calls them). So, I will probably be on here to blog later, but in the meantime read this:
Debt-free -- and more -- by 2009 at MSN money. It's an article that my sister sent to me. Although I doubt it will make anyone "Debt-free" (unless they have very little debt to begin with), the article has some good points or steps that we should be taking. I'll get to those in a future blog. The kids are starting to get up and I've got snow to shovel. Correction: I've got SNOW!!! to shovel.